The Goof 20X4

[Rollo75]

Round 1 - The Sunshine 300 - Daytona
- brought to you by: George Takei's Favourite Phrase - "Oh my." George Takei's Favourite Phrase. It's the phrase that pays this week on WITZ 620am

The Goof for 20X4 adopted a different bodyshell to what was being run in 20X2 and 20X3. Underneath the panels would be the same mother chassis and control gearbox and hybrid system, as well as the 5L V8 engines used in previous years, but the passenger cell was more closely dimensionally similar to the GNS55 cars from a few seasons' before.

Seven manufacturers showed up, each with six cars a piece, and six additional drivers would be making part-time starts. Pontiac, Vauxhall, Ford, Mercury, Toyota, Mazda and Wartburg, each ran six cars, with piecemeal entries from Dodge, AMC, and Holden.

The format for this weekend was as in seasons before with two heat races on Saturday and the Feature Race on Sunday. 48 cars does not go into a starting grid of 40; so the top 20 from each of the two heat races would get a ticket to the big dance; with one guaranteed spot in the Feature Race for Kayleigh McAlpine as the 20X3 Champion. The two races would be 50 laps, which made them a 125-mile sprint. It is actually possible to go all 125 miles without a stop but in practice this has never happened.

Heat 1:

Starting the championship in Florida in December would on the face of it appear to be a sensible idea. Mother Nature in her wisdom decided that even the most sensible of plans could be thwarted and so a cold snap arrived on Wednesday, followed by a very heavy dusting on snow on Thursday and Friday. After constant spinning of cars in Friday Practice and several cars posting dud times in Satuday Qualifying, a drivers' meeting demanded that caution flag rules be dropped and that the two heat races on Saturday and the round proper on Sunday be run to no flags and no lights, because reracking cars after cautions would lead to the tearing up of even more equipment than what was already being torn up. Goof Management agreed to this and as such, all three races during the weekend would be run according to so-called "open bullring rules".




It took exactly two laps to unleash madness upon the icy surface. Drivers reported that the amount of grip that they were getting was nowhere near like it would be under race conditions and with temperatures below zero celcius, they weren't coming up to temperature either. Not even lower air pressures would help, as a greater contact patch merely led to extra aquaplaning.

On lap two, Stripe Heeler in the Blue Sky Mining Falcon, slid way across the nose of fellow Falcon driver Kurt Langer and the #73 BASF machine was sent hopelessly spinning out of Turn 4 like it was on a merry-go-round. He held on for the ride but was clobbered by Robert Dee in the #333 AMC, and Hatsune Miku's Toyota.

As there would be no caution flags thrown, the field had to make their way through as best they can and as Sticks Baja, Ellie McIllan and Stripe Heeler were already ahead of the pinball fury being played out, they were the likely winners of the heat race.

Sticks Baja would draw out a lead early but on lap 7, she would become one of many victims of the icy surface. She tried to pull up and avoid Xavier Zangoose's Toyota (in possibly her old ride) and in doing so, she dove to the bottom of the racetrack and the rear end broke out from underneath her; sending the #6 Chevrolet into the fence at Turn 4. Hers was one of many similar tales in this race. She was soon passed by Ellie McIllan and Stripe Heeler.



Apart from a scare at the beginning of the race, Stripe Heeler knew that he had a fast Ford all weekend. In the opening laps of the race he passed Robie Robie who is now in a Vauxhall an Bob Nikoban's Toyota, to assume the lead. All the while, shadowing him like a black menace, was Ellie McIllan who is also in a Ford. After winning the championship on debut, McIllan has had three disappointing seasons and so is looking to set the compass heading back to winning ways.

Even though this was just a heat race, there was no pretending that this was a hard-fought contest. Even though the track was icy and there was snow about, average lap speeds still exceeded 210mph. In going that fast, fuel burn rates were way through the roof and therein lies the paradox of this race. Do you go flat out and then hope to draw out enough time and space to make a fuel stop, or do you conserve and make the time back up when the leaders pit?

On lap 25, Ellie McIllan who happened to be in front, decided to chop the race in half and pit for more tyres and fuel. Stripe Heeler followed her. Unfortunately today, this strategy did not pay dividends as McIllan would finish the race in 14th and Stripe would pass her on the last lap for 13th. Both would be well above the cut line of 20th.




What was confusing about this race was trying to work out the mental gynastics required to beat the paradox of going flat out on ice, yet not sliding off into the fences and becoming a giant piece of instant rubbish. The second irony was that cars who had kissed the wall invariably went slower; thus improving their fuel efficiency and forcing them to drive to the end without a stop. Every single car from 12th and forwards had suffered at least some battle damage from having slid into the wall and being forced to drive slower. In doing so, this is where the Heat 1 Race Winner was found.

Al Yankovic ploughed into the rear end of Jeb Brown's Dodge in the opening phase but would go on to ironically led lap 26. Immediately he was passed by Robie Robie who slowly drew out a lead until on lap 35 he harmlessly looped his Vauxhall coming out of Turn 2.

This gave the lead to Oglivy Hedgehog, who had showed similar speeds at both Daytona and Ontario in 20X3 and it was expected that he would go on to win the race but he too slid up the race track coming out of Turn 4 and became yet another victim of this place.

Konata Izumi who this year is driving for McAlpine Motorsport in a Mercury Seven and Judge John Judd in the second of the Team Osko Mazda 989s then had the unexpected hope of winning the race handed to them. The interesting thing about the Brilliant Resources 11 chassis that The Goof has picked for 20X4 and 20X5 is that the end plates on the rear wing mean that the cars are more stable and track better in a straight line. As such, Judge John Judd merely held back and waited; only passing Izumi on lap 50 of 50, after pulling out of the draft and making the maneuver through Turn 3. You only need to lead one lap of a race to win and it is the last one.

In doing so Judd won his maiden victory, even if it is only a Heat Race. This meant that for a very short period of time, he would lead the standings.

Heat 1 Points Awarded:
5 - Judge John Judd
3 - Konata Izumi
2 - Oglivy Hedgehog
1 - Robie Robie

The four drivers to be eliminated were Hatsune Miku, Eggatha Robotnik, Dr George Claw, and Robert Dee.

 

[Rollo75]

Heat 2:

Heat 2 wasn't as brutal in terms of sheer carnage but on this cold Saturday, Daytona International Speedway was not prepared to play nice.



The race's first proper victim was Henri Cornelius in the #91 Vauxhall who managed to tag the wall in Turn 3 and spent the rest of the race chugging around with palls of black smoke behind him. He very politely stayed to the outside of the racetrack but Ugly Arbuckle went under him and was collected broadside by Andy Rollo who overcorrected and skewed across the tri-oval's grass section.

The #75 OMO Holden struck the #9 Cazoo Pontiac in the tail and although Rollo was sent careeening upside-down, Arbuckle merely spun a bit with a damaged car and kept going. Rollo was distraught that what might be only one of a few starts that he has in 20X4 was over after just 19 miles. Arbuckle on the other hand, spent the rest of race talking to his dad over the radio and trying to produce meaningful data that could improve the other five Pontiacs.

For a while Miles Prower in the #7 Breville Vauxhall led the race and tried valliantly to hold back Bandit Heeler but it was obvious that the Heeler Brothers had built two very fine Falcons which were flying fast. Heeler took over the lead on Lap 4 and then inched out a lead that just got bigger and bigger as the race wore on.



Winner of the last round on the sands of Daytona Beach last season, Jimmy Kohler led proceedings from lap 25 when the leaders pulled off the circuit for more fuel and fresh tyres and he like could have made it work if it wasn't for the fact that he panicked as he saw he lead being eaten away in the closing stages.

Kohler was one of a number of drivers who formed a committee that successfully argued that drivers on a part time schedule should be awarded points and any proper prize money and benefits that come with it. Management agreed to the list demands but stressed that at most venues where there were limited spots, there may only be one place for an unannounced driver.

It wasn't until lap 45 that Bandit Heeler, having pitted at the half way point, had scraped back enough time to make the pass back for the lead. His brother Stripe had not made the strategy work in the other heat race but Bandit, without changing anything at all, should have made it work here.

Kohler who is running a part-time schedule, is running a car from the central pool with the unbranded Goof 305 V8. The #83 machine is listed as being an AMC, though it is highly unlikely that AMC is supplying him with any know-how. Kohler finished 6th in the Heat which would be enough to score points in a regular race but not here, when only the top four score points.



In fact it was only because of an unforced error when Bandit slid up the racetrack at Turn 3, that he joined the ranks of those who had gone before him. What was a four second lead instanly evaporated and right behind him was Ziggy Moonglow in the #02 Moonglow Whiskey Dodge.

If the case wasn't made last season with Kohler's win at Daytona Beach, it certainly was now. Ziggy Moonglow who is a champion in another series and in a car built by the central pool and then engineered by a team running only a part-time schedule, won on debut; and in conditions which he had likely never seen before. To call this remarkable is several degrees of understatement.

Immediately questions were being raised about the level of talent in The Goof and that maybe the series is not quite as stellar as previously thought. Moonglow tried to play it down in post race interviews but the fact remained that he had won on debut; which is a rare feat.

Behind Moonglow was James Kojira who was making his debut in the seat previously occupied by Jessie Musashi last year. His third place is a credible beginning and might be indicative of what is yet to come. Still further behin him was Morgan Inkling; marking off a successful seat of heat races for the team from Fukushima. Inkling was the first of the drivers who went through the race without pitting; deciding that conserving fuel was possible and running to a set lap time.

Points Awarded Heat 2:

5 - Ziggy Moonglow'
3 - Bandit Heeler
2 - James Kojira
1 - Morgan Inkling

The four drivers who were eliminated from the Feature race were Andy Rollo who obviously had the accident, Ricardo Sasquini whose engine in his Mazda terminally let go for unknown reasons, and surprisingly Bernie Bernie and Henri Cornelius who were both passed by Ugly Arbuckle.

 

[Rollo75]

The Main Feature Race

Starting on the inside of the front row, Ziggy Moonglow was in prime position to capitalise on his opening heat race. As cars rolled out of Turn 1 though, the pack formed into an organised line on the high side; behind Robie Robie, Ugly Arbuckle, and Oglivy Hedgehog. Moonglow if he wasn't careful, would take the elevator to 20th by the end of the first lap.



Instead of taking the elevator to 20th on lap one, Moonglow took the elevator to the sky on lap two when Robie who wasn't sure about the grip in his tyres, slid up the race track coming through the tri-oval and Greg Rellings who wasn't expecting the Dodge in front of him to check up, ploughed straight into the back of him.

In the immediate carnage was Ugly Arbuckle, Paxton Mann, Jeb Brown and Stanley Spildaski who provided the actual impact to shoot Moonglow into the sky. Ellie McIllan in the Texaco Falcon had nowhere to go and punted the rear end of defending series' champion Kayleigh McAlpine. Somehow Bob Nikoban who never even lifted off the throttle, poked his way through the carnage ahead and came through the centre of the whirlwind completely unscathed.

Had this been under normal circumstances there would have been a caution thrown but the agreed rules for the weekend meant that there were only local yellow flags and the race went ahead as normal. Robie continued to lead the race as though nothing had happened behind him and it was up to the chasing pack to try and do anything about it.

And chase him down they did. Robie led the opening 17 laps and tried to build up a buffer but as he had been running up front in clean air and doing all of the work of punching a hole in it by himself, the team called him in on lap 38 and he gave up the lead.



This race was going to be played out on strategy. As a 120 lap race over 300 miles, there arose a question of if the the drivers could make the tyres last 150 miles on the icy surface. With very reduced track temperatures and what seemed like a lowering of friction, it seemed possible. At about lap 40, the teams who had decided to turn this into a two stop race, all came in at the same time. If anyone could stretch out fuel consumption and tyre wear to 50 or even 60 laps, then they could run longer at the end and maybe get something of an overcut with a splash-and-dash to the line.

Three drivers who tried this strategy were Billy Highbank in the #51 Castrol Mercury, the #37 Golden Fleece of Kane McKane, and Marnie Roxy's #960 Goodsmile Toyota. As Highbank's from 20X3 had been pulled out of circulation by Team UZKA, they had given him a brand new chassis. This particular chassis was originally earmarked to become a #62 car mid-season but given that Higbank put it to excellent use this quickly, that will certainly not be the case now. He held the lead fro, lap 38 until when he pulled down into pit land ten laps later.

This left McKane and Roxy to squabble over the lead and their two cars had vastly different personalities. McKane complained about a tight condition and was forced to run a higher line which he did not like. Roxy on the other hand was running a tail happy car because she had realised in the heat race that an icy superspeedway was a lot like driving on a dirt short track. McKane came in on lap 52 and made wedge and track bar adjustemnts; which left Roxy in command of the race by herself and she proved that she could make the tank of fuel last 60 laps.

This is where things got interesting. Highbank blended back into 4th place. McKane blended back onto the racetrack with an almost empty back stretch in front of him, in 3rd place with Highbank in front of him. Marnie Roxy would run long twice in the race and finally pitted on lap 116 after holding down 5th for a very long time, but her last spalsh of fuel meant that she surrendered all hope of gaining any points.



Perhaps the extraordinary thing about this race was not who won but the manner in which they did it. Oglivy Hedgehog who had come in third in his heat race, had been reasonably quick all weekend. The Team Principal for the Chevrolet team, Garfield Arbuckle< had given him an entirely orthodox strategy and so he was utterly perplexed when during the washout of pitstops on lap 80, he was sitting in 4th place behind Roxy, Highbank and McKane. Hedgehog was massively annoyed when he rejoined the race and was able to see the leaders but his own teammate was in the way.

McKane would peel off to the pits on lap 100 to make his final stop and so he was pretty much out of the running; so the question would be whether or not the car in front of him, that being the Mercury of Billy Highbank, could make his own stop for fuel and rejoin back in the lead. Highbank pitted on lap 109 of 120 and rejoined the race in the lead but found that he hed Hedgehog right behind him.

This had all the hallmarks of looking as though it would be one of the all time classics of The Goof, in this the 30th season, but this was not gonig to be the case. The orders came from the top of the Chevrolet box to Hochi Samyang in the #4 Chevrolet to block Highbank and with her causing just enough of a problem, Hedgehog used her as a pick and shot down the inside of the racetrack into Turn 3.

Thus this race ended with Hedgehog crossing the line comfortably in front of Highbank, McKane, Talon Claw who was making his very first start for Team MAD, Antony D'Tigrette and Judge John Judd who was the last car on the lead lap. Hedgehog's season has started about as well as it did in 20X3 and maybe this season is the season that the works Chevrolet team finally breaks through and wins a championship. Who knows? Maybe after more than 20 seasons of trying as a driver, Garfield Arbuckle will now do the job as the Team Principal.

Points Awarded Feature Race:

15 - Ogvliy Hedgehog
12 - Billy Highbank
10 - Kane McKane
8 - Talon Claw
6 - Antony D'Tigrette
5 - Judge John Judd
4 - Mario Mario
3 - Stripe Heeler
2 - Al Yankovic
1 - Koffing

Points Standings After Round 1:

17 - Ogvliy Hedgehog
12 - Billy Highbank
10 - Judge John Judd
10 - Kane McKane
8 - Talon Claw
6 - Antony D'Tigrette
5 - Ziggy Moonglow
4 - Mario Mario
3 - Konata Izumi
3 - Bandit Heeler
3 - Stripe Heeler
2 - Bruno Gourdo
2 - Al Yankovic
1 - Robie Robie
1 - Morgan Inkling
1 - Koffing

Round 2 will be held at Atlanta Motor Speedway on the 14th of January.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 2 - The Peachtree 300 - Atlanta Motor Speedway
- brought to you by Pirate Lotto. 57 numbers, more numbers to choose from; more ways to fail. Pirate Lotto: We Hope You Lose. Yaaaarrrr!

If the unseasonally cold wealther in Florida was awful, then the Georgian skies couldn't have been any more in contrast. The former Olympic city turned on a dose of southern hospitality as it provided clear skies and temperatures in the low 20s.



Pole sitter Kuki Muensta again proved that the Pontiacs were quick out of the box. Hedgehog hadn't done particularly well in qualifying (only managing 11th) and Samyang scored no time at all after the hybrid system shut down in the Saturday morning practice session but, Muensta, Arbuckle, d'Tigrette and Baja all put their Pontiacs in the top ten. After the green flag droppd on race day though, what may have been qualifying speed didn't quite equate to race pace and apart from Muensta, they all faded. Instead, this race would mostly be headed by a couple of Mercurys, a fast Ford, and some Mazdas buzzing around.

On lap 9 of 195, the first caution came out when Walter Kronkyet in the Wartburg dropped out of the top line of cars and tried to go for a space that might not have been there. He causes Tse Sakamoto and Kayleigh McAlpine to both check up, and Mario Mario not wanting to run into the back of McAlpine, cam down into the middle lane and tagged Henri Cornelius' Vauxhall.

The #64 spun across and through four lanes of traffic but somehow only managed to collect the Wartburg of Eggatha Robotnik; who was unsighted and very very surprised to see a car appear out of nowhere in front of her. Her race was junked through sheer happenstance.

"Oh maaaan... you try to keep you nose outa trouble and hang around and the back so that you can avoid the big one when it happens, and you just get caught up in someone else's little one. The car was good, it felt good, it drove good... and it all just... eeeegh?"
- Eggatha Robotnik, to U62-TV

The reracking and single file lining up of the field meant that Bandit Heeler who was in the lead at the time, now had no-one immediately challenging him for the top spot; so on the restart, he occupied the centre of the road and merrily drifted away into the distance.

Immediately behind him were the two Team OSKO Mazdas of Judge John Judd and Morgan Inkling. Judd's result at Daytona was a promising start to the season for a driver who had toyed with the idea of giving it away. However, the fact that Kayleigh McAlpine had chipped away and stood on the very top step as champion last season, has given hope to a lot of smaller teams who having survived the great cull from 72 to 42, now have someone to look to as proof that success is possible. Team OSKO as customers of Mazda equipment, have severed all data sharing ties for this season; as they venture out to see if they can make waves by themselves.



Heeler was gradually caught back up as the race ran long under green flag conditions. Tyre management over the long run proved to be important, as the two Team OSKO Mazdas faded, and the Mercurys of Koffing and Kong came to the front. Kuki Muensta and Ricardo Sasquini both fell to the tail end of the top ten and then both rose back up again as though they were tied together.

This fron battle pack of five cars found each other by lap 30 and then hung around together through both sets of pit cycles which both happened under green flag conditions. The nature of this group was that together they were quick but if anyone tried to roll out a lead, punching a hole in the air without the help of the drafting cars behind, was neither as efficient or as quick.

Neither did it make sense for cars to run single file for extended periods either. Whereas we saw actual freezing conditions at Daytona, here in the peach-tree state, we saw temperatures climb into the 90s. That meant that running in the draft, ran the engines hotter than normal; and when speeds were pushing 235mph down the back stretch, that was worrisome.

Eventually, after slugging it out for many many laps, this allowed a second clump of cars to reel in the distance and attach onto the tail. They included Xavier Zangoose in the Toyota, Talon Claw in the Wartburg (who in not very many starts is already showing promist) and Kane McKane in the Vauxhall. It was McKane who led the group when they finally became one giant chain of eight cars, and Zangoose who pulled out of line to start a second lane running the top.

Koffing now found that he had to defend two lanes of traffic which were highly organised, but this came to a swift end as Ugly Arbuckle's #9 Cazoo Chevrolet showered itself in a massive cloud and the caution was thrown on lap 166 for fear of the orange machine causing the big one. As much as he wanted to, he just could not do it and so Koffing would be forced to roll onto the back of the single train of cars which was now forming. This was a common pattern with the eight cars in the train, running up front to get cool air, then pulling off to maximise their fuel economy.

It should be noted that even after seven seasons, still nobody is sure exactly what Koffing is exactly, not do they know how he controls a motor car. Video evidence shows that he moves controls psychicly through telekenisis; so his cars must be fitted with a Faraday Cage by regulation. Again, it is unknown if that does anything either. What is known is that Koffing, having left the front of the train of cars, was in no worries about getting back to the front again. Perhaps he should have been, as Zangoose and Heeler broke free and wafted away into the distance.



Of the four drivers currently employed at Team Yellow Toyota, none of them were there five years ago. The turnover rate since Patrick Mann was last Champion in 20W5 has been brutal. Former champion Jean-Luc Pikachu had been brought in to stablise the team but even he found the going tough. This season with the departure of Sticks Baja and Miles prower, the squad was practically all new, with Xavier Zangoose being tapped up to replace Pikachu, Paxton Mann inheriting his father's old seat, Bob Nikoban staying on, and Mao Mao-Mao replacing the outgoing Miles Prower.

Xavier Zangoose having piloted a car in an off-season quarter-mile bullring series, was given the job after showing an indecent capacity for brawling and an almost psychotic joy in wailing on people on track. He is in stark contrast to Mao Mao-Mao who managed to win two of ten races with laser like precision in a field of nonsense.
Zangoose very nearly lost the seat after a press conference before the season, when National electronics again signed on as a partner. Zangoose thought it funny to punch a hole through a television; much to the shock and horror of the corporates at National. This created enough of a storm of publicity that he couldn't very well be let go and even attracted Lucky Strike Cigarettes to become the title sponsor of the car.

Zangoose's first run of the year produced a 9th place in the heat race and a 22nd in the main feature race but given that a snowy Daytona was something of a lottery, perhaps this was not an indication of speed or ability. His qualifying run here at Atlanta was also less than stellar, when he tagged the wall comign out of Turn 4 and tumbled down to 25th, after what could have been a top ten result.

For the race though, any hint of an at times impetuous nature, was entirely hidden. From 25th place, he roed around the top of the racetrack consistently and by lap 65 at the first set of pit stops, he was eleventh. All four Toyotas formed a chain mid-race and were able to run slightly long to lap 133. Apart from Mario's spin on lap 9 and Ellie McIllan tagging Jack Raymond on lap 82, the race was relatively calm. However when Ugly Arbuckle's Chevrolet expired and came to a halt on the back stretch on lap 166, there was suddenly a mad dash to the pits en masse. Zangoose was one of nine drivers who did not pit.

On lap 173 after the race settled in for the run home Zangoose roughed up Kuki Muensta for sixth place, did a bump and run on Kane McKane for fifth and stared menacingly at Kong, Koffing, and Heeler. After duly passing the two Mercurys, Zangoose and Heeler had a battle for the lead which was nothing short of tense. Both cars could run the top and the bottom and the race was Heeler's to lose. And lose he did.

<>

"I ran out of road and talent... we're broke, we're busted. I'll just roll around until the end now."
- Bandit Heeler, to crew chief Pat Labrador

What could have been a battle for the ages, was cut short as Heeler slid down the order to obscurity and it was only due to the generosity of Zangoose on laps 194 and 195 that he was not lapped. Heeler in seventh would be the last car still on the lead lap; while Koffing, McKane and Muensta watched as Zangoose took a very easy win in only his second ever round start.

Said Xavier Zangoose at Victory Lane after his first ever race win:
"I ain't gonna thank none of you. I ain't gonna thank Toyota or National, or Red-Emu Maximum Pain medication, because right now, I'm gaan round the back of the trailers for a Lucky."

He then flipped V-signs to everyone before knocking over a garbage bin and kicking someone's drink bottle away. This was absolutely a statement drive and that statement is that, Zangoose has arrived.

Points Awarded Round 2:

15 - Xavier Zangoose
12 - Koffing
10 - Kane McKane
8 - Kuki Muensta
6 - Donkey Kong
5 - Ricardo Sasquini
4 - Bandit Heeler
3 - Morgan Inkling
2 - Talon Claw
1 - Mao Mao-Mao

Standings After Round 2:

20 Kane McKane
17 Oglivy Hedgehog
15 Xavier Zangoose
13 Koffing
12 Billy Highbank
10 Judge John Judd
10 Talon Claw
8 Kuki Muenstab
7 Bandit Heeler
6 Antoine D'Tigrette
6 Donkey Kong
5 Ziggy Moonglow
5 Ricardo Sasquini
4 Mario Mario
4 Morgan Inkling
3 Stripe Heeler
3 Konata Izumi
2 Bruno Gourdo
2 Al Yankovic
1 Robie Robie
1 Mao Mao Mao

The next round will be the Suspicious Meat 300 held in two weeks' time at Kansas Motor Speedway on 28th Jan.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 3 - Suspicious Meat 300 - Kansas City
- If it isn't Suspicious Meat, then it isn't suspicious meat.

Just as they had done at Daytona, the Pontiacs proved that they had the outright speed to take it to the field. Pole sitter Ugly Arbuckle briefly touched the 200mph mark in his lap of 192.011mph. Although he was the only driver to peek into the 190s, the rest of the field were all doing better than 180mph. Race pace was a different matter and as temperatures began to climb into the 90s, the expected horspower and hence lap times, dropped off.



Arbuckle led the field for a good nine laps before Tse Sakamoto in the Mazda and Talon Claw in the Wartburg, finally organised and rolled around the outside of him. Kansas as a multi-groove track can be attacked in many different ways but this day would mostly be dominated by who was prepared to run as close to the wall as they dared.

A caution came out on lap 19 when Eggatha Robotnik, deciding that Bob Nikoban's Toyota was holding her up, applied the bumper and he looped the car in Turn 3. Nobody else was involved in the incident but the caution did bring everyone onto pitlane; wherein everyone who was anyone took on four tyres. Such would be the theme of the day as a tank of petrol was expected to go 79 laps, but changing tyres under caution was a better option than being left out on track as a sitting duck to be passed.

First off of pitrow at the first set of pit stops was Hochi Samyang, also in a Pontiac, and this would also be a theme of the day as at various times, all six of the Pontiacs would lead the race at some point.

On lap 36, Bandit Heeler got squirly coming off of Turn 4 and slid harmlessly across the tri-oval grass; which shouldn't have brought out a caution at all but the clerks of course hit the button anyway. Once re-racked and stacked, it was the turn of Antony D'Tigrette to lead the field until lap 66 when yet another caution was brought out; this time due to Ellie McIllan sucking the air off of the back of Stankey Spidalski and he spun and struck the barriers at Turn 3.

Nominally the first round of fuel stops would have happened on lap 66 but given that they had spend time under caution, teams were prepared to hang out longer and when Stripe Heeler nudged Robie Robie for an insanely pointless 20th place, the little yellow robot went spinning and the caution lights came on, on lap 72.

The subsequent dash off of pit lane saw Pontiacs occupy five of the top six places, with only Talon Claw in fifth knocking out a full five place lockout. The top six across the stripe under caution on lap 74 were Ugly Arbuckle, Hochi Samyang, Antony D'Tigrette, Oglivy Hedgehog, Talon Claw, and Sticks Baja. Only Kuki Muensta who was mired back in 33rd position, was the lone Pontiac not at the front.



With Pontiacs up front and seemingly running away with the race, it was left for everyone else to try and adopt any kind of strategy which wouldn't leave them in the dust. The two 00 Motorsport Toyotas of Marnie Roxy and Hatsune Miku found that they could run in tandem with the car behind pushing the car in front. The car following didn't have to push aside its own air; so this meant that the little extra power which was gained, could be used to push the car in front. The idea worked well and they were soon rocketing upwards through the order.

Rather this worked well for a while until on lap 117, they tried to go around the outside of 9th placed Morgan Inkling and Inkling's car became unsettled. Inkling had the air sucked off her rear wing and the micro forces turned her car upwards into Roxy. As Roxy was in front of a tandem with Miku, and they were both leading a squabble of a dozen cars, the close proximity caused the big one, and we suddenly had a twelve car pile of garbage sliding through Turn 3.

Inkling's car was junked. Roxy's car made it back to pit row but the crew could do nothing and parked the #960 behind the wall. Kane McKane had repair work done but couldn't make minimum speed and was black flagged and parked. Miles Prower ended up with great patches of 100mph tape on the car and would recover to 12th. The only two drivers who scored any points in this incident were Mario Mario who came home in 7th and Miku who somehow ended up with a car which although beaten was still reasonably roadworthy, followed the red Vauxhall to come home in 8th.

Up front, of the five Pontiacs which commanded proceedings, Arbuckle suffered some kind of undiagnosed fault and rather than risk the engine, he retired the car. Hochi Samyang and Antony D'Tigrette couldn't maintain the pace and settled for 9th and 10th places respectively. This left Oglivy Hedgehog and Sticks Baja to work together but Hedgehog gradually pulled away and Baja lost her partner up front.



The race ran from lap 117 to the chequered flag, completely under green flag conditions. This meant that everyone who pitted under the caution at lap 117 would need to stop again but late in the race. There was a little bit of rising and falling as the running order tumbled about as the result of pit cycles but the key stops were from Oglivy Hedgehog who pitted on lap 135 and Henri Cornelius who pitted on lap 179.

Hedgehog assumed a normal pit cycle and although it put him down the order, it meant that at the end of the race, he would expect to have emptied the tank. The Vauxhall team, having worked out that they could d a fuel dump at any time from lap 117 to lap 183, decided to leave the #91 machine until they could pit and then blend back into an empty space on track.

Cornelius having been left out while everyone pitted, pitted from the lead and then resumed the lead on track. At the time he crossed the blend line to leave pit lane, he had an 11.3 second gap over Hedgehog. With Hedgehog making up half a second a lap, the end result would be really tight; or rather, should have been. Cornelius lost a lot of time though, trying to lap none other than Antony D'Tigrette and Hochi Samyang, who were ordered by Team Principal Garfield Arbuckle from atop the No.9 warwagon, to fan out and gently impede Cornelius.

The move cost Cornelius almost 3 seconds; which meant that Hedgehog finally clawed back to him on lap 198 and then sat behind him before pulling out of the draft on the next lap, and hugging the bottom of the racetrack; which meant that Cornelius on older tyres either had to find a ton of extra speed by running the top and hoping that the momentum would be with him coming back down the hill, or that his own team mates could effect something similar.

As it was, Hedgehog never looked back and was not challenged for the race win. The white #8 Pontiac came in for its second victory of the yeay; which naturally springboarded it back to the top of the seasons' standings. Cornelius opened his account by coming in second, and in third place was Eggatha Robotnik who drove a lonely yet sensible race in the Wartburg.

"Maybe white is a lucky colour for us? The General wanted us to run Pontiacs this year, so we agreed, but apart from the outside, everything underneath is almost identical to last year's car. We even have some of last year's chassis waiting to be used this year. We worked well and executed nicely."
- Pontiac Team Principal, Garfield Arbuckle, to U62-TV

Points Awarded Round 3:

15 - Oglivy Hedgehog
12 - Henri Cornelius
10 - Eggatha Robotnik
8 - Tse Sakamoto
6 - Bandit Heeler
5 - Ricardo Sasquini
4 - Mario Mario
3 - Hatsune Miku
2 - Hochi Samyang
1 - Antony D'Tigrette

Top 20 Standings After 3 Rounds:

32 Oglivy Hedgehog
20 Kane McKane
15 Xavier Zangoose
13 Koffing
13 Bandit Heeler
12 Billy Highbank
12 Henri Cornelius
10 Judge John Judd
10 Talon Claw
10 Ricardo Sasquini
10 Eggatha Robotnik
8 Kuki Muensta
8 Mario Mario
8 Tse Sakamoto
7 Antoine D'Tigrette
6 Donkey Kong
5 Ziggy Moonglow
4 Morgan Inkling
3 Stripe Heeler
3 Konata Izumi

The next round will be the Unincorporated Henrico 300 held in two weeks' time at Richmond International Raceway on 11th Feb.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 4 - Unincorporated Henrico 200 - Richmond, VI
- brought to you by Coal: It's the rock that burns.

The Goof had not been to Richmond International Raceway since Patrick Mann won the first of his two championships ten years ago. Only a handful of drivers remain in the series from oh so long ago, and one of them is Doctor George Claw.

The three time champion has kept every playbook from every track that he has ever raced at; so when he sent out his son Talon out in Friday practice, the lad was immediately quick without really knowing why. As the cars in The Goof have vastly changed several times since then, Claw employed a setup not from ten years' ago but one from sixteen years' ago and when Nigel Levins was running rampant in the 20V8 Ford Galaxie. Somehow, Talon found even more speed in the Wartburg and with zero experience, than Claw found all those years ago.



Talon found enough speed to claim the pole on Saturday and on Sunday when the race began, he wondered if he had enough racecraft to make use of the starting position. Although there was speculation that the crews on top of the box would be changed so that Talon would have a better tactical shot at winning the race, the mercurial Doctor Claw had full faith that the lads on the #11 box were up to the task.

When the race started, Claw got off to a solid start and Ugly Arbuckle immediately bumped Stanley Spidalski out of the way. This opened up the bottom of the racetrack and Bob Nikoban who had started fifth, suddenly found that he had a massive space which he could simply waltz through; which he did. Then with his own crew chief yelling in desperation for Bob to take the lead, he simply said "Nah, I can't be bothered. This is fine." and settled into a groove behind the black Wartburg ahead. Nikoban's chaotic laziness was more than an apt defence to what would play out behind him.

Spidalski faded due to a tight condition which the crew never quite solved. Ugly Arbuckle had okay short run speed but cars set up for long run green flag conditions eventually just drove past him. Sticks Baja got into a revenge bumping war with Bernie Bernie and this held them up; while letting the leaders pull away.

The suprise package of the day was the six Mazdas, none of whom had qualified particularly well. Apart from Ricardo Sasquini cutting a tyre on something, which tore apart his rear right quarter panel and left him with an ill-handling car all day, and later on an incident on lap 117 when Morgan Inkling in an attempt to swap places with her teammate Judge John Judd, straight-lined Turn 1 and bent both her steering and ripped out the linkages in his. The Mazdas spent most of the race all quietly rising through the order and by lap 52, five of them were in points paying positions.



The first round of pit stops came and went; with Talon Claw still leading and Nikoban following at close quarters. By now Bandit Heeler was threatening to make a play for the race and Greg Rellings in the second of the works Mazdas was now in fourth after having climbed twenty-two places since the start.

Unfortunately Richmond occasionally succumbs to very long periods of single-file running, as this three-quarter mile facility has a groove and a quarter at most. Whomever can hug and control the bottom generally has a good defensive position, as trying to go around the outside is almost a waste of time. Nevertheless, some drivers did find that using the chrome horn was an effective way of signalling that they were coming through and with this, the Vauxhalls of Kane McKane and Mario Mario both snuck into the top ten.

The race's only real dramatically altering moment happened on lap 98; which was way too early to make a pitstop under normal circumstances but perhaps early enough to enact a change of strategy.

While holding sixth, Sticks Baja was doing a solid job of keeping Stanley Spidalski at bay, Dr Ivo Robotnik both got bored and got jack of having to follow the pink Falcon; so in an act of knavery, he drove to the top of the track and then turned Spidalski into Baja, before driving away in a pique of maniacal joy.
The repercussions of this meant that as Spidalski and Baja slid back into traffic, they were both clouted by Walter Kronkyet, who was then inverted by Hatsune Miku who had an available reaction time of nil. The shovel nose on these Brilliant Resources 11 chassis is excellent at being used as a ramp, and Kronkyet cursed the ground and cursed the sky in all kinds of unprintable Russian. Bernie Bernie who took to the bottom of the race track to avoid the mess, then ploughed headlong into Spidalski and Baja like an out of control shopping trolley in a car park.

This incident was to have further poltical repercussions as Team Principal at DD Racing, Dirk Oranj, who is also 2IC at the Wartburg Motorwerk, expressed his displeasure after the race, at having both of his cars ruined at once. Each of the various manufacturers have their own arrangements but the situation at Wartburg is a confusing mess of three separate teams, working out of three shops in the same building but sharing technical information. Oranj couldn't have been more aware of the meetings that Doctors Claw and Robotnik regularly had and this was already a source of tension.

The mass exodus to pit road and then back out again, saw Bob Nikoban leave in first place, with Claw in second, then Rellings, Heeler, and Mario. Nikoban had to be told to shut up after singing the Meow Mix jingle repeatedly and accidentally leaving the radio on an open channel. His joy was short lived as when the flag went green, he was bumped out of the way by Talon Claw and owing to the fact that these cars on this track, found little to no ability to attack if the bottom of the track was covered, we ended up with more of a procession than a motor race.



After the second round of pit stops had shaken out, the running order was Rellings, Ankha, Sakamoto and Talon Claw. Perhaps Greg Rellings could have run away with the race and posted his maiden race victory but on lap 204, when Koffing, Mario and McAlpine were arguing over 8th place, Mario shoved McAlpine into the Turn 4 wall and the Mercury was left stranded with broken steering. It then became a waiting game to see who would dive into the pits for a set of fresh rubber and to make final adjustments but nobody in the top 15 blinked.

On the restart with Rellings and Sakamoto on the inside, the two Mazdas shot into the lead and Talon Claw realsing that they were going to be the pair to chase down, followed them; driving Chloe Ankha to the top of the racetrack. Ankha faded down the order somewhat until she found her former Toyota teammate Bob Nikoban, who was still playing the waiting game to see what would happen for a late race charge. Claw however, had no obvious allies up front and instead was forced to reply on the decisions of the two green cars ahead of him.

Team Mazda Principal and five-time champion Nigel Levins had brought on Tse after he saw the lad from Hiroshima in an improved production series. Tse duly rewarded him in time, by becoming champion himself. When it came to finding his own replacement, Levins saw Rellings in a touring car series in New Zealand and he hoped that he could capture lightning in a bottle twice. Rellings however had not quite been the bright firework that Sakamoto had been but instead had to work to come up to speed. Finally here at Richmond, where there was a chance to post a win, did Rellings see his opportunity to make the boss proud.

However Sakamoto was not content with having an impatient Talon Claw behind him; and soon grew tired of playing tailgunner. Sakamoto took about ten laps to work out where Rellings was slow and on lap 315, tagged Rellings in the rear and both Sakamoto and Claw stole the line at the bottom of the racetrack through Turns 3 and 4. Rellings was not happy about being bumped by his own teammate but was told to suck it up and get over it, by his crew chief who saw that there were still 85 laps in the race.

With Sakamoto off in the distance and never to be headed again, Rellings again came under fire from Bob Nikoban who already had a quick car this weekend, and Chloe Ankha who was springboarding back up the order. With a green flag run that seemed like it was going on forever and in fact would continue to the end, Rellings stood no real chance against Ankha who was in a Team OSKO Mazda and therefore in very similar equipment and Nikoban who had spent the whole race following whom he thought was quick. When Rellings got baulked on lap 336 by Henri Cornelius who was having a nothing kind of race, the last of the positions that mattered finally settled out.

Points Awarded Round 4:
15 - Tse Sakamoto
12 - Talon Claw
10 - Chloe Ankha
8 - Bob Nikoban
6 - Greg Rellings
5 - Kane McKane
4 - Bandit Heeler
3 - Koffing
2 - Mario Mario
1 - Antony D'Tigrette


Top 20, Points Standings After 4 Rounds:
32 Oglivy Hedgehog
25 Kane McKane
23 Tse Sakamoto
22 Talon Claw
17 Bandit Heeler
16 Koffing
15 Xavier Zangoose
12 Billy Highbank
12 Henri Cornelius
10 Judge John Judd
10 Ricardo Sasquini
10 Eggatha Robotnik
10 Mario Mario
10 Chloe Ankha
8 Kuki Muensta
8 Antony D'Tigrette
8 Bob Nikoban
6 Donkey Kong
6 Greg Rellings
5 Ziggy Moonglow

The next round will be the British TT held in two weeks' time at Silverstone on 25th Feb.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 5 - The British TT - Silverstone, UK
- Sunbeam: We sell the best toasters in Towcester.

The British TT held over 200 miles and 68 laps on the outer circuit at Silverstone, was held in not quite freezing conditions and weak sunshine in an English winter. The dense air meant that engine power was very much up, and even despite the flat right angle corners, cars were topping out at more than 180mph.

It was the Fords who were quickest in practice, with both of the Heeler Brothers' Falcons circulating within the top 5 on Friday, both of the Team UZKA Falcons also bouncing around 5th, but it was McIllan Racing's Falcons of Ellie McIllan and Kurt Langer who topped the charts. In Saturday qualifying, Langer spun at Club, and McIllan who was on a flyer just tagged a tyre bundle at Stowe and tore the front right hand wheel out of the car. She would post no time and start in 42nd.

Completely unexpected was Hatsune Miku who had not particularly done anything in Friday practice, who posted pole position seemingly out of nowhere.



The flag dropped and Miku tore off into the distance, in an effort to get a jump on the field. However, the race descended into controversy when at the end of the opening lap, Dr George Claw took umbrage with Donkey Kong and attempted to dump him going through Woodcote.

The incident more or less started as they were going through Abbey but unbeknownst to Claw, passing through the inside of both Kong and Claw was Ugly Arbuckle; who made it three wide in the middle of the corner. Arbuckle bumped Kong in the door while effecting the pass but all that Claw saw was Kong nudge him off the outside of the left hander and into the grass as they head down the straight towards Bridge.

Claw could not and would not let this pass and so attempted to tag Kong in the rear quarter but Kong being a canny operator, knw that this was on and attempted to brake check Claw. This sent the two of them spiraling over the pit entrance apron; and back out onto the track at Woodcote, wherein Oglivy Hedgehog slammed into the front left quarter of Kong and left everyone in a sorry state.

With cars strewn about Woodcote like the clatter of nine-pins, the field was brought behind the Safety Car while marshalls cleared the wreckage, and upon the restart, Miku made a textbook start and very easily got a jump on the field. Already on the end of lap 5, she was 4.3 seconds ahead of Bandit Heeler.

A little further down the road, there was an eight car squabble involving five Fords, a Toyota, a Mercury, and a Mazda. This general argument would last for the entire race; with Langer and McIllan both trying to help each other, Spidalski and Yankovic doing likewise, Ricardo Sasquini trying his level best to annoy everybody, Kayleigh McAlpine who had shot up ten places since the start of the race, and Stripe Heeler who was hanging on to the tail of the group; while his crew chief fed him instructions on the fly to trim the #54 Falcon to the same settings as the #17 Falcon which had stablised the gap to Miku to about six seconds.



It was this squabble where the most interesting parts of the race would unfold. With Bandit heeler spending most of the race in a lonely third place, the battle for fourth was an angry swarm.

Kurt Langer in the #73 BASF Falcon had a nicely handling car but it was ultimately too slow down the straights, his slow tumble down the ladder and out of the points was complete by about lap 12. Likewise, Ellie McIllan who had identical settings, was able to use a little bit of racecraft but still ended up in 11th. Team UZKA followed each other around in close quarters and they weer constantly harassed by Ricardo Sasquini who clearly had a quicker car but was effectively blocked by a two car wall on multiple occasions. Behind him was Kayleigh McAline who held rank and bided her time.

By the time that the round of pitstops came around on laps 34 and 35, Bandit Heeler was within sight of the squabble and Sasquini thought about trying to attempt an overcut by pitting a lap later. It would turn out that the drafting help he had relied upon, actually hid a minor speed deficiency in the car and by the time he pitted and went back out, five cars went past and he could not tack back onto the draft.

The real winner out of all of this was Sticks Baja who spent the first half of the race following Claw and then made an amazing pit stop which brought her back into contention. Spidalski would eventually tail off; which left Sticks Baja, Stripe Heeler and Al Yankovic to fight for fourth.

On lap 42, Stripe Heeler snuck up the inside of Yankovic going through Copse and Baja attempted the same move a lap later but she bumped him and by the time they had made it to Maggots and Becketts, Spidaklski was all over them like a rash. He went round the outside of Baja at Vale and then up the inside of Yankovic at Club.

Baja would try the same move again at Copse on lap 48 after spending a number of laps trying to scope where the green, white, and red Falcon was weak and upon finding nothing useful, it would have to be her bravery which made the difference. Yankovic simply let her through on the inside, as though he feared her incompetence which would result in both of them being taken out.

The field gradually got strung out and the only two cars rising through the field were that of Dr George Claw who was making a recovery after the nonsense on lap one, and Jack Raymond in the Vauxhall who was playing a slow game of picking off positions one by one. By lap 50 he was in eighth, then progressively passing Yankovic, Baja, Spidalski, Stripe Heeler in five laps, it then took him another four laps to run down and pass Bandit Heeler.

Bandit Heeler himself would eventually have a fuel light come on on lap 68 and he would lose so much speed by the time he made it to Woodcote, that his brother waltzed past him and although he would meet the chequered flag, he would come to a complete stop just on the other side of the finish line. Third had melted into fouruth but he was thankful it had not burned into a DNF due to lack of fuel.



Pole sitter Hatsune Miku had had a quiet race up front, having fended off any kind of initial challenge from Bandit Heeler, Stanley Spidalski and Ricardo Sasquini. Heeler had a bit of a peek going through Copse on lap 2 but soon realised that the an attack through Maggots and Becketts was useless; for while Miku's Toyota didn't quite have the mechanical grip, it was trimmed out and therefore very very fast down the long straights. Heeler found to his dismay that on lap 8 after nearly out braking Miku going into Club, he simply did not have the legs to keep up going down the long straights and through Abbey. Heeler led the solitary lap 22 when Miku came in for tyres and fuel, to split the race into three.

Raymond found that he could bite off a second of a lap here and there and was really shocked when on lap 60, he managed to chew off 5.7 seconds after Miku got caught behind Samyang, Ankha, Talon Claw, and Rellings who were having their own privte battle for 25th. With no points to play for, their squabble was nevertheless still furious, because they were likely fighting fro bragging rights in the clubhouse after the race. After Raymond flew past all of them just one lap later, he was now just 3.8 seconds behind Miku; with six laps to get the job done in. He finally caught up to her bumper on lap 66 and gave her a couple of taps to let her know that he was serious.

For Raymond, this was perhaps personal. In 20X0 his race ended upside-down and in the barriers at Club Corner. This time around, with a sniff of victory at Silverstone, he was not going to let this one get away. Miku on the other hand, having been almost seven years since her last victory, was equally keen to stand on the top step of the podium.

On lap 68 of 68, having led every lap bar one, Miku almost drove a textbook race. However, going into Club she left the door just open wide enough for Raymond to slip his Vauxhall up the inside and despite Miku having a car with a proven faster top speed, Raymond was willing to and able to push her to the side before the left hand bend at Abbey. Miku could have very well shoved Raymond of the road at Woodcote just as previous calamity in this race had shown but discretion was the better part of valour here and she merely tucked in behind and collected a disappointing second place. For Raymond though, leading only one lap was enough. Whatever ghosts had haunted this place for him, were now well and truly defeated.

"I had to tell Punchy (Crew Chief #88) to shut up. He wanted to tell me all the things and I did not want to know any of the things. Fair play to Miku though, she fought well but I had to be the bad guy here and take away her shot at glory. I still have a championship to win. Crisp."
- Jack Raymond, to U62-TV

"Well... I am disappointed not to have won but on the day, I was beaten by a better driver. Raymond is a good competitor. I am still happy that we came second. We showed that we can be fast and mean business."
- Hatsune Miku, to U62-TV

Points Awarded Round 5:

15 - Jack Raymond
12 - Hatsune Miku
10 - Stripe Heeler
8 - Bandit Heeler
6 - Stanley Spidalski
5 - Sticks Baja
4 - Al Yankovic
3 - Dr George Claw
2 - Ricardo Sasquini
1 - Donkey Kong

Top 20 After 5 Rounds:

32 Oglivy Hedgehog
25 Kane McKane
25 Bandit Heeler
23 Tse Sakamoto
22 Talon Claw
16 Koffing
15 Hatsune Miku
15 Xavier Zangoose
15 Jack Raymond
13 Konata Izumi
12 Ricardo Sasquini
12 Billy Highbank
12 Henri Cornelius
10 Judge John Judd
10 Eggatha Robotnik
10 Mario Mario
10 Chloe Ankha
8 Kuki Muensta
8 Antony D'Tigrette
8 Bob Nikoban


The next round will be the Alabama 303 held in three weeks' time at Talledega Speedway on 17th Mar.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 6 - Alabama 303 - Talladega
- brought to you by Spirit Airlines: Start Brawling.

The high banks and high speeds of Talladega Speedway are feared by team owners as although this place is very fast, it can get angry and will tear up equipment for fun. However apart from Kuki Muensta blowing a tyre and then striking the wall in Turn 3 before being turned sideways and having the wheels bite the ground to flip him upside-down, the beast remained tired and sleepy and would not claim dozens of cars at once, this weekend. It was a pity. The Pontiacs were fast. As Saturday qualifying opened up, every Pontiac would at some point be temporarily at the top of the tree, except his.



For not the first time this season, a Pontiac sat on the front row. However it was not the number 9 Pontiac of Ugly Arbuckle on the pole, for Arbuckle would have to settle for second place. The inside of the front row was occupied by 20W9 champion Ellie McIllan, who so far this season has not even as much as scored one point. Either the black Texaco Falcon has not been fast enough, or not reliable enough. That pointless streak would continue today, much to her disappointment.

Teams were trying to push the envelope as far as performance would allow. With engines spinning up to 9500rpm, speeds were also up; with some cars touching 220mph down the very long back stretch. Drivers had also worked out that they could actually push each other in an effort to save fuel, as the power of 1300 horses combined was more effective than just 650 alone. This came at a price as the car following would see spikes in water and oil temperatures. Ellie McIllan found Walter Kronkyet on lap 2 as a helpful pusher/pushee and the two of them blasted away from the field for the first dozen or laps or so. The trick would be to find a safe place to execute a switch if the car behind got too hot.

There were eight leaders in the first half of the race and green flag running meant that the first two of the expected three pitstops were done under green. Those eight were McIllan, Kronkyet, Hedgehog, Arbuckle, Sasquini, Izumi, Miku and Talon Claw. The lead swapped hand on multiple occasions but nothing really significant happen until lap 72.

Mao-Mao Mao had had a rough race. His Toyota Crown had been slow all race and no amount of adjustment would help. The fact that there had been green flag running for 72 laps meant that all adjustments to the car had to be made under green. Although this race had turned into a three-stop strategy very early on and that slightly helped cover the tight in/loose out problem, not even a stream of new tyres wallpapered over the issue as everyone was coming in for new tyres fairly regularly.

Team Principal Patrick Mann knew that Mao's race would yield no points but wanted to keep him out on track anyway, as this would amount to getting a free test session under race conditions. This meant that Mao would have to keep at least minimum speed as well as keeping one eye on the rear view mirror, so that he could get out of the way.

On lap 73, Mao moved to the top of the track to let faster traffic through, as had been his practice. He let through race leader Walter Kronkyet and Hatsune Miku, but Dr Ivo Robotnik who had been in third place, was not as observant and hooked the rear left corner of Mao's car. This sen his own car spinning and he was clouted like a 12-ball in the side pocket, by Stripe Heeler who was holding down fourth place at the time.

Immediately behind them, Rellings and Robie scattered and behind them, cars zigged and zagged all over the tri-oval grass to the point where they may have been as many as fourteen wide. After the dust settled, Kronkyet assumed the lead; while the two Pontiacs of Ugly Arbuckle and Oglivy Hedgehog both fell in behind him; with Miku in fourth.

Mao was quite apologetic but Robotnik, perhaps uncharacteristically was gracious in his comments.

"He's done everything that could be expected of him. When you are moving at 220mph, reaction times are nil. We may even consider poaching him for our team, if the time and circumstances are right."
- Dr Ivo Robotnik, to Villain-Radio WKIL 1220am.



The story of second place in this race is indeed odd. The driver who should have arrrived home in second place, did not (we shall see why later). This meant that on lap 112 of 112 and with the white flag in the air, the podium was still not sorted.

Ugly Arbuckle who was in third place, had five cars in front of him before he could find free space. This meant that if he was to come home in second, that this would be determined by his skill at picking through traffic. Behind him was Oglivy Hedgehog and the two of them worked together to try and hold the line. However behind the two Pontiacs were Konata Izumi who had been hanging around the top ten all day, Kane McKane who had been quietly forgotten about by the chasing pack, and approaching fast Walter Kronkyet, who had at various stages led the race and was certainly capable of causing trouble.

Coming out of Turn 2, Arbuckle was baulked by Morgan Inkling who was unaware of the swarm behind her. She was having enough troubles of her own with Kayleigh McAlpine and Talon Claw who were fighting for the last two points paying places. Ahead of them and a lap down again, was Miles Prower whose #7 machine had really not shown any hope all day and Kurt Langer who was just happy to make it home at this point.

As a very fast pack arrived and blended with one which was merely circulating, cars fanned out to six wide before being forced to funnel back into two lanes for Turn 3. If there was potential for everyone to be taken out at once, it dissipated, as Talon Claw found himself as the lest car in the way and with Ugly Arbuckle and Walter Kronkyet behind.

As they poured out of Turn 3 and into Turn 4, Kerrod Edmundson who had been approaching the peloton and who decided to take to a third lane around the top, ended up with a metric ton of momentum but the time he rolled out of the turn, down the hill and into the tri-oval. With Henri Cornelius as the next car in the way, Edmundson swung around both Arbuckle and Kronkyet and had a clear run to the line; which at Talladega is not in the curve of the tri-oval but way futher beyond. That space and time gave Kronkyet just enough room to pull out from Arbuckle and catch enough of a draft to swing past himself and what could have been second place, was now fourth for Arbuckle.

The distance between second and fourth was about four car lengths and Arbuckle later mused that he simply did not yet have the necessary skill to pick his way through traffic yet. For Edmundson, an unexpected second place was amazing.



As alluded to, the race for second place was not something which was expected. On lap 72 and completely unassissted, James Kojira brushed the wall exiting Turn 2 and then exploded the rear right tyre going through Turn 3. This meant that there was easily enough time for everyone to make it home on fuel and tyres and quite literally the whole field except for Mao-Mao Mao came into the pits, and he rolled around to pick up what amounted to a free lap. The race off of pit row saw Ellie McIllan in the Texaco Ford beat Oglivy Hedgehog and Hatsune Miku to the stripe and that is the order which they began the restart.

When the green flag dropped, Koffing who was a lap down, jinked way to the top of the track because he knew that there was no way that he could hold up the pack and the immediate losers were McIllan and Hedgehog who both had to check up. Miku drove from third place, through a hole created by the confusion and straight into the lead; where she was never caught ever again.

In an effort to chase down Miku, who clearly had a car which was both handling to perfection and which was more than adequately quick enough, McIllan pulled in behind Hedgehog to give him a push. The two of them working in tandem were able to pull many lengths on the cars behind but Miku was long gone. They would work together for many laps, as both of them ended up saving fuel by alternatively pushing and being pushed; where the benefit of the draft extended futher.

What broke this happy little arrangement was when on lap 110, McIllan while behind Hedgehog reported that her water temperature had skyrocketed and her oil pressure was surging. She fell back behind in an effort to bring the car home but when both water temperature and oil pressure both fell to zero, the game was up. A dejected Ellie could not even bring the car back to the pits, and she parked it behind the wall just going into Turn 3.

Hedgehog with no drafting partner, then lost a lot of time to the car behind him but he soon found a friend in fellow Pontiac driver Ugly Arbuckle (see above). Miku on the other hand took her Toyota Crown to the fastest lap of the race on lap 112, missed out by 0.002 of a second on lap 113, and would have had another chance at it on the final lap except for Bandit Heeler who was limping around and had fallen an amazing 36 places to 38th, after starting the race on the outside of the front row.

For Miku, after many many years of trying, her prize cabinet now sported a second trophy, albeit one which was not too unexpected. After having been pipped at Silverstone in the round before, Miku's Toyota Crown wasn't short on speed. Here, when the most likely challengers faded away, she was left to stand on the top step in peace.

Points Awarded Round 6:

15 - Hatsune Miku
12 - Kerrod Edmundson
10 - Walter Kronkyet
8 - Ugly Arbuckle
6 - Kane McKane
5 - Oglivy Hedgehog
4 - Konata Izumi
3 - Ricardo Sasquini
2 - Kayleigh McAlpine
1 - Talon Claw

Top 20 After 6 Rounds:

37 Oglivy Hedgehog
31 Kane McKane
30 Hatsune Miku
25 Bandit Heeler
23 Tse Sakamoto
23 Talon Claw
17 Konata Izumi
16 Koffing
15 Xavier Zangoose
15 Jack Raymond
15 Ricardo Sasquini
12 Billy Highbank
12 Henri Cornelius
12 Kerrod Edmundson
10 Judge John Judd
10 Eggatha Robotnik
10 Mario Mario
10 Chloe Ankha
10 Walter Kronkyet
8 Kuki Muensta
8 Antony D'Tigrette

The next round will be the Great Southern Cup held in two weeks' time at Darlington Raceway on 31st Mar.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 7 - Great Southern Cup - Darlington, SC
- brought to you by Tide Oreo: Oreo, now with the great taste of Tide washing powder.

The Lady In Black hosted the seventh round of The Goof Cup for 20X4 and the great state of South Carolina turned on some of the sunniest skies and clearest weather seen in a long time. The abrasive surface was expected to play havoc with tyres; so Goodyear brought along their harder A+ compound. It would be the only tyre on offer all weekend and owing to suspected shenanigans going on at Pontiac, the teams were limited to four sets of tyres per car for the weekend and all of the tyres would be scanned out and in at every pitstop. Teams would be allowed to paint their rims as normal but had to submit their rims to Goodyear before tyres were allocated.



Pole sitter Kuki Muensta led the field away and posted Lap 1 as the leader but the lead soon changed hands very quickly, when coming out of Turn 4 on Lap 2, he slid up the racetrack on cold tyres and collected his Darlington Stripe early; thus allowing Kurt Langer and Ellie McIllan in the two McIllan Racing Ford Falcons to swing into the lead. Yet again the Pontiacs had had the outright speed to start up front but surrendered that quickly.

Kurt Langer is an interesting chap. The soft spoken Berliner arrived in The Goof series at what was then known as Red Bull Motorsport to pilot a second car with Bruno Gourdo as team leader. After a long chain of team reformations, Langer moved to the unformed then reformed McIllan Racing to play as a second driver to Ellie McIllan as team leader. As Bob McIllan has been far more patient with Langer than Red Bull Motorsport ever was, Langer has been allowed to develop his racecraft in peace; even if the results have not been particularly brilliant.

Here at Darlington, Langer who up until now this season has not scored a point, suddenly found himself in control of the race. Team Principal Bob McIllan told his daughter Ellie to hold station and act as tail gunner but Langer neither needed asked for help nor needed help to go dancing up front. By lap 12 they had caught to the back of the field and Langer began to carve his way through traffic.

"I can get close to him but he then just picks off another backmarker. I think we just let him go."
"10-4."

Indeed Langer showed that on this day, there was nowhere that he couldn't go and nowhere that he wasn't prepapred to make a pass at. Like a spring, the distance between Langer and McIllan would stretch and compress but she would have no opportunity to even attempt a lead change. Falling every further behind the leading Fords, Muensta saw them pull further away but could do nothing. In fact the only relief in the early part of the race came on Lap 32 when Dr Ivo Robotnik's Wartburg decided to let go and he pulled to the inside of the front straight in a pall of black smoke. This brought out the caution and literally the entire field came in during the cycle for new tyres. The race off of pit road was a forgone conclusion as Langer and McIllan who arrived first, left pit road first. When the green flag dropped, business merely resumed.

Caution was then brought out again on Lap 45 when a squabble between Bob Nikoban and Morgan Inkling for 24th, resulted in Bob finally losing his cool and trying to attempt a bump and run through Turn 2. He miscalculated that badly and turned Inking into the inside of the track; which resulted in her finding the wall. There were no takers for the pits this time around. A third caution came out on Lap 60 when Greg Rellings looped his Mazda in Turn 4. Again the field was reracked and stacked and nobody came to the pits.

Things appeared to settle down after this restart and it became apparant that due to the rubbering of the track, the fastest line was to cut low through Turns 1 and 2 and to remain high through Turns 3 and 4. Such is the nature of Darlington that because someone wanted to avoid a minnow pond, that the two ends of the track are markedly different.



On lap 93 and just slightly shy of when teams would be expected to make a fuel stop, the Lady in Black was ready to take her victims. The track too tough to tame had laid quiet but now in the South Carolina sun, she was ready to strike.

Sticks Baja scraped the wall coming out of Turn 4 and slowed on the front straight. This caused Paxton Mann and Robie Robie to check up and in a case of wanting to avoid the pusher pushing the pusher, Chloe Anhka in the Mazda pulled out of line. Unfortunately, she pulled into the path of Konata Izumi's Mercury, who was then turned sideways by the leader Kurt Langer and a fast approaching Kayleigh McAlpine who walloped the Mercury.

Five cars followed in quick order, all of whom picked up some damage because it as simply impossible to lock down the cars to a stop in time. Stripe Heeler turned into into the wall and was then rear-ended by Donkey Kong. Talon Claw in the #11 MAD Wartburg had nowhere to go and simply ran headlong into the now 11 car accident, and Al Yankovic thought that he could find a hole at the bottom of the track but locked up the rear tyres and collected Konata Izumi while sliding sideways.

With twelve cars strewen across the track, there really was no other practical option other than to pit and for a brief moment in time when Dr Ivo Robotnik was scored as leading Lap 94, the entire field bar one car was either in pieces on the front straight or being serviced in the pits.

The race off of pit row saw Ellie McIllan take over the lead as Kurt Langer's car was now incapable of moving anywhere, and the next five cars immediately behind her in the queue were all Pontiacs; being Hedgehog, Arbuckle, Muensta, D'Tigrette and Samyang. The one Pontiac which was not in the top six, was the one still in pieces and lying forlorn on the front straight. Maybe this was the race that Pontiac would try and stamp its authority all over the place.



At 188 laps long, which us a shade just over 250 miles, the race had been designed so that one fuel stop was not enough and a second fuel drop would be necessary. The dilemma facing the teams was that the caution came out on Lap 93; which meant that under green flag conditions, cars would scrub up tantalisingly short of the end. As the run got longer and longer and cars began to stretch out around the circuit, although they would occasionally scrape the wall and pick up a Darlington Stripe, the likelihood of a caution coming out became slimmer and slimmer.

Up front as the fuel situation became ever more dire, eventually someone had to blink. On Lap 182, Kurt Langer pitted from the lead of the race, fearing that he wouldn't make it to the end. Pitting under green flag running was disasterous though and the travel time in and out of the pits, meant that he went a lap down. On lap 183 both Oglivy Hedgehog and Ugly Arbuckle who had been rolling around in third and fourth for most of the second half of the race, pitted under green. On lap 184 Ellie McIllan pitted from the lead and also went a lap down.

The scored leader of Lap 184 was Dr George Claw who was also running on fumes by that stage but after inheriting the lead, he then asked for a time check and found out that he was 17 seconds ahead of Judge John Judd in second. He calculated that he could lose four seconds a lap and still come home the victor and so the speed of the #10 MAD Wartburg was painfully slow as he tried to save as much fuel as he could. What he didn't realise was that Judge John Judd was also in a similar predicament and was also trying madly to save fuel.

In fact the fastest cars were Ellie McIllan who was in a pointlessly epic battle with Kuki Muensta as they attempted to rip the track and go as fast as possible on brand new tyres. They successfully unlapped themselves by going as much as 7 seconds a lap faster than the leaders but even pulling a lap back was only good enough for 11th and 12th respectively. The 20X0 champion put on a demonstration was to why she had won the Championship on debut and now as a 22 year old, what three years of miserable experience had taught her.

The third place on the podium was Eggatha Robotnik who in running identical equipment to Dr Claw, soon realised that the times that he was posting would be beneficial to her in terms of fuel mileage. As she had come into the pits at the same time, the distance to the line would be determined by how close to the stripe her pit bay was. As it happned to turn out, the distance was even more critical as she ran out of fuel before the line and coasted across with no fuel on board. Kane McKane who made up nine seconds on the last lap, had to pull to the inside but still didn't beat her to the stripe.

Dr George Claw's win has moved him into a sensible place on the table while at the top of the leaderboard, Oglivy Hedgehog gave up the top spot and was eclipsed by Kane McKane. Eggatha Robotnik's podium which has placed her 8th in the season thus far, seems to tell the story that the baton is being passed; with her father Ivo still yet to score a point.

Points Awarded Round 7:
15 - Dr George Claw
12 - Judge John Judd
10 - Eggatha Robotnik
8 - Kane McKane
6 - Hatsune Miku
5 - Tse Sakamoto
4 - James Kojira
3 - Mario Mario
2 - Koffing
1 - Bandit Heeler

Top 20 Standings After 7 Rounds:

39 Kane McKane
37 Oglivy Hedgehog
36 Hatsune Miku
28 Tse Sakamoto
26 Bandit Heeler
23 Talon Claw
22 Judge John Judd
20 Eggatha Robotnik
18 Dr George Claw
18 Koffing
17 Konata Izumi
15 Xavier Zangoose
15 Jack Raymond
15 Ricardo Sasquini
13 Mario Mario
12 Billy Highbank
12 Henri Cornelius
12 Kerrod Edmundson
10 Chloe Ankha
10 Walter Kronkyet

Round 8 will be held in two weeks' time at The Madhouse - Bowman Grey Stadium, on April 14th.

 

[Rollo75]

Round 8 - One Hot Night Of Chaos At The Madhouse - Bowman Grey Stadium, North Carolina
- brought to you by Silly Willy's Suspicious Hot Dog Barn and Hair Care Centre: Our secret ingredient is people.

The Goof had not travelled to a short track that was this short in a very long time; so when the idea came up to run cars here, it was met with some skeptecism. The immediate problem is one of packaging. A 110-inch wheelbase Goof Cup car is basically built like a family sedan from the 1970s. Putting a big car on a small track would not be very fun.

The solution then, would be to find smaller cars; so to this end, MAD Industries, Eggman Industries, Wayne Corporation, and TIE Corp. decided to ignore and and all intellectual property held by other auto makers and just built 60 small cars. The engines provided by MAD Industries were all a standard 2-Litre 4-cylinder engine which looked suspiciously like a Toyota Corolla motor.

The second problem was that although moving various teams into the pit area of Bowman Grey Stadium should be easy, there are only spaces for about 20 haulers. The Goof usually travels with 28 haulers for 48 cars and this was 60 cars. Again, as MAD Industries, Eggman Industries, Wayne Corporation, and TIE Corp. provided the cars, they would take then all back and do whatever maintenance needed to be done on them

Heat A - 50 Laps



The heat races at 50 laps were arguably the most brutal sudden death matches ever seen in 30 seasons. 50 laps of a quarter mile bull ring is a race distance of just twelve and a half miles. To put that in perspective, that distance is eclipsed by just three laps at Daytona Beach at the season closer.

In this heat, Billy Highbank and Jimmy Kohler were the only two drivers who had seen anything like this before and so while they hugged the inside line and locked out anyone else, a race nominally developed behind them... or didn't. Bob Nikoban worked out that he could just just behind Highbank and pounce if Kohler was pushed wide enough and behind him Kayleigh McAlpine worked out that she could run the track almost like a flattish diamond.

On lap 47, Kohler finally found a way to the outside of Highbank and because strategy doesn't exist at The Madhouse, his decision to just try and force Highbank into the centre field was the best option. Highbank backed out of the corner at Turn 3 and that was the nominal end of Heat A.

Points and progression through to the Feature Race were:
Kohler 5, Highbank 3, Nikoban 2, McAlpine 1, Sasquini 0, Mario 0.

Heat B - 50 Laps



Heat B was practically over before it began. Hochi Samyang qualified on the pole, then by virtue of being on the front row and getting the jump on the field when the green flag dropped, led the field into Turn 1 and the subsequently led every single lap. Such is the nature of very short track bullring racing, that flag to flag victories are not uncommon.

With Saymang long gone, it was then for whomever could beat and bang their way forwards, to see who would come second. The two drivers who best did this were Jeb Brown who starting on the outside of the second row, turned Tse Sakamoto and pushed Paxton Mann out of the way. By lap 3, he was securely in second place, or so he thought.

Two drivers had something of a meteoric rise through the standings. Bandit Heeler who started stone dead last, made a brilliant recovery by deciding that everything was fair and whomever had the biggest elbows would win; and Eggatha Robotnik who used a more methodical approach and made it policy to attack no more than one car at once. Her usual tactic on her rise upwards from 11th to what would eventually be second, was to nudge the car in fron while they were in the braking zones. Her nudge on Brown on Lap 43, would be the last of her run to the front as nobody would catch Samyang.

Points and progression through to the Feature Race were:
Samyang 5, Robotnik.E 3, Brown 2, Heeler.B 1, Hedgehog 0, Raymond 0.

Heat C - 50 Laps



If Eggatha Robotnik's drive had been a demonstration of finesse, then her father Ivo's was a demonstration of utter bastardry. Rather than use any kind of racecraft, the Doctor's whole race plan was simply to barge through and turn anyone as necessary. Except in cases of neediing to clear the track, he knew that cautions would not be thrown; so he simply bashed Chloe Ankha, Ugly Arbuckle, Kerrod Edmundson and the then leader Kuki Muensta out of the way.

It was a case of whomever could follow the leader through the hole created would benefit and Konata Izumi, driving what she initially though was a blessed race, watched as car after car in front of her suddenly pointed backwards and giant holes opened up which she could just wander through. On Lap 36 when Robotnik turned Muensta, the Swede was well and truly livid. He repeatedly swore blue over the radio, and in the middle of his fury was completely caught unaware by Izumi who saw him as just another thing to pass.

On the completion of Lap 50, Mao, Kronkyet, and Koffing, all came out of Turn 4 in a giant clump and were officially scored as being seprated by 0.000 seconds. It wasn't until a review of the video and a replay which would back a few frames that management determined that Koffing should be scored in the sixth and final transfer spot.

Points and progression through to the Feature Race were:
Robotnik.I 5, Izumi 3, Muentsta 2, Edmundson 1, Cornelius 0, Koffing 0.

Heat D - 50 Laps



Even though 60 cars had been fabricated from scratch just for "One Hot Night Of Chaos At The Madhouse" there was the suggestion that as Eggman Industries and MAD had built the cars, that they had been playing favourites; for and to themselves. Maybe the suggestion would have been put to bed if in the Heat D Race, Xavier Zangoose had kept his head. On lap 5 after John Judd played a crossover move on him, Zangoose sought revenge and unfortunately rammed the paid of them into the pit entrance buffer at Turn 3. This blocked the track and we got our first caution of the night, when the caution rules had been massively relaxed.

With these two out of the race, attention then turned to the next three; being Yankovic, McIlan and Claw. All three are previous champions of The Goof and all three are certainly experienced at close quarter racing. McIllan and Claw did not really find any way around Claw for the middle period of about 40 laps and then five laps from home, a chance presented itself. Claw found himself facing a wall of traffic and the four second gap that he had built up evaporated. This meant that Yankovic and McIllan began to press in on his bumper; so rather than try to defend the place, Claw decided to turn one-time-fun-time and ex-Toyota 0082 Motorsport driver Amy Rose, into whom ever was following.

Amy Rose soon saw the pavement where the sky should be, through her windscreen, Yankovic was caught up behind the upside-down wreck, and with the track blocked there was no option but to re-rack the cars for a restart. Claw chose the bottom line and never even looked like needing to defend the position. Yankovic slotted in behind but was passed on the outside coming out of Turn 4 on the last lap. Curiously, McIllan's 3 points for coming second in this hear race, were the first to open her account in the 20X4 season.

Points and progression through to the Feature Race were:
Claw 5, McIllan 3, Yankovic 2, Spidalski 1, Squarepants 0, Roxy 0.

 

[Rollo75]

The Main Feature Race:

As this was a 100 lap feature race at a very short bull ring, there would be no caution flags unless there was a serious blockage of the track. Sole discretion of throwing the caution lights, lay with the man atop the flag stand. Also as this was a 100 lap feature race at a very short bull ring, there would be no pit stops either. 100 laps at a quarter mile facility is only 25 miles race distance. This sounds like a minimal amoutn but this was the fifth race of the evening.

M1

Curiously the race started with Claw and McIllan trading paint at close quarters; with Ricardo Sasquini close behind. Neither Claw nor McIllan are particuarly known for this kind of racing but the two champions certainly adapted really quickly. Occasionally making his presence known was Ricardo Sasquini, who had never seen this kind of track before but may have been able to translate experience from rallying to this discipline, as turning a car in corners as tight as this is essential for tarmac rallying.

Perhaps the driver with the most experience at a place like this was Billy Highbank. It was obvious that he was playing a patient waiting game; just ready to pounce if tempers flared ahead of him and someone was hooked and turned around. He soon found that he was under attack by Marnie Roxy though; she had perhaps randomly qualified in seventh and then just followed the leading peloton as they pulled away.

Highbank began his charge onwards and upwards throught the leading peloton when he passed Roxy on lap 12, Sasquini and McIllan on lap 16, and then passed Claw for the lead on lap 21. As is sometimes the nature of this kind of racing, the field then began to fall back into a rythym as cars began to string out around the ring. With lap times only being between 15 and 20 seconds per lap, it then took about 20 laps for Highbank to start encountering backmarkers and he picked them off one by one as well.

M2

On lap 49, Claw had obviously had quite enough of following Highbank; so in an act of uncalled for knavery, he simply hooked Highbank into the fence at Turn 4. The ensuing plug caused by Squarepants and Edmundson slamming headlong into the now sideways 51, blocked all lanes of traffic and the race had to come to an immediate red flag while the debris was cleared.

For his efforts, Claw was handed an immediate black flag for unsporting behaviour and was sent to the back of the field. One the restart, McIllan was totally outclassed and outfoxed; when Bandit Heeler got the jump on the outside and what followed was a brand new melee for the lead. After Heeler sureged to the front, he was followed by Konata Izumi and Kayleigh McAlpine who had been watching the clump up front but hadn't really been able to do much while traffic was strung out.

After following Heeler and repeatedly using bumper morse code on him, Izumi finally pulled a crossover move on Heeler on lap 65, when he was forced to go defensive and pulled way to the inside of the track. That upset his line through Turns 3 & 4 and Izumi neatly folded under him and out the other side. For the next period of relative stability the running order was Izumi, Heeler, McAlpine, McIllan and then both Robotniks.




The most significant change for the lead happened on lap 91 when Konata Izumi on fading tyres (after having used the best of them earlier), began to run slightly wider lines in order to get the power down. The tyres as they faded, just didn't have the bite and therefore the turn in that they did at the beginning of the race; since a pitstop would be a certain ride on the elevator to the basement, the only answer would be to stay out and/or fade out while trying.

Going through Turn 1, Eggatha Robotnik who had already claimed second place in her heat race, having learnt how effective bumping someone out of the way was, did exactly that without hesitation. The bump was measured and not enough to spin Konata, who merely ran slightly higher up the track than she would have liked, and this compromised her run at the other end of the track. Bandit Heeler needed no invitation to steal second place away from her either.

Now on the defensive and with laps running out, thete was no way that defending series champion Kayleigh McAlpine was going to get through and she soon found herself under attack from Dr Ivo Robotnik. He would not improve on fifth place but he was close enough to see his little girl score a maiden win in The Goof Championship.

"I'd like to thank Eggman Industries and M.A.D. for building the cars that we had tonight, and I'd like to thank the Madhouse at Bowman Gray for allowing us to put on the show tonight. I didn't win because I was heaps fast, or because I understood the track better than anyone... sometimes it's better to be lucky than good. I like that I put the Robotnik name back in the winner's books. Love you dad."
- Eggatha Robotnik, to U-62 TV

Points Awarded Main Race Round 8:

15 - Eggatha Robotnik
12 - Bandit Heeler
10 - Konata Izumi
8 - Kayleigh McAlpine
6 - Dr Ivo Robotnik
5 - Ellie McIllan
4 - Bob Nikoban
3 - Jeb Brown
2 - Koffing
1 - Al Yankovic

Top 20 After 8 Rounds:

39 Kane McKane
39 Bandit Heeler
38 Eggatha Robotnik
37 Oglivy Hedgehog
36 Hatsune Miku
28 Tse Sakamoto
27 Konata Izumi
23 Talon Claw
23 Dr George Claw
22 Judge John Judd
20 Koffing
15 Jack Raymond
15 Xavier Zangoose
15 Ricardo Sasquini
15 Billy Highbank
14 Bob Nikoban
13 Mario Mario
12 Kerrod Edmundson
12 Henri Cornelius
12 Kayleigh McAlpine

Round 9 will be held in two weeks' time at Calder Raceway, Victoria, on April 28th.